


The toughest battle to win

by Levi__Acker_Gay, orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Alec makes it up to him, Drama, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Married Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Not Beta Read, Relationship Problems, Upset Magnus Bane, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:28:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24573067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Levi__Acker_Gay/pseuds/Levi__Acker_Gay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: "Hey darling, it's Magnus, your husband. I'm just calling to ask if you're coming home tonight, as you haven't been responding to any of my calls or texts so far today. Or the past few days. Please just call me, or message me back as soon as you get this or as soon as you are available, I just want to know if you're okay," Magnus paused before whispering. "I love you," his voice breaking slightly on the word 'love.'Based on a suggestion from Justmymalec ❤Just some updates, next chapter coming soon. :DBecause of work and personal things, updated will be really slow. I apologise
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 146
Kudos: 128





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Justmymalec](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justmymalec/gifts).



> Gifted to Justmymalec as she gave me this lovely suggestion. Also because she has been a wonderful friend ❤  
> 

"Hey darling, it's Magnus, your husband. I'm just calling to ask if you're coming home tonight, as you haven't been responding to any of my calls or texts so far today. Or the past few days. Please just call me, or message me back as soon as you get this or as soon as you are available, I just want to know if you're okay," Magnus paused before whispering. "I love you," his voice broke slightly on the word _'love.'_ He then switched the phone off and threw it back down onto the table with more force than necessary.

  


It had been almost a whole week since his husband, Alec, had stayed over at their shared apartment, and their home, almost a whole week since Magnus had actually seen his husband face to face, and not through a screen; which had admittably been a lot recently towards the end of the week. In the last few days. Magnus had been staring long enough at the photos on his phone that they had been burned into the back of his retina. He had tried visiting Alec at the Institute, but he was always 'too busy to have guests,' or was 'asleep' or 'did not want any visitors as he was either hunting or training.' _Or maybe Al_ _ec just didn't want to see or spend time with him._

  


Magnus wondered when exactly Alec and he stopped talking, _really_ talking. He thought about it, he knew, but he quickly pushed the gloomy thoughts away. Now is not the time or the place to revive painful memories, not when he is thinking and hoping that today might be the day Alec _does_ come home.

  


Sitting in his apartment on that sofa never failed to remind him of their first date. They had just come back to the apartment from a bar in the heart of Brooklyn, and Alec and he had spent the entire night talking until the barmaid had eventually asked them to leave so they could close. They hadn’t had enough of each other, however, so they had taken a walk before returning to his loft, and Magnus feelt like he was walking the exact same path they had followed then, before entering the loft, reliving the romantic journey. He can recall with terrifying accuracy the way Alec had laughed at his jokes, how his mind had been buzzing with a pleasant sense of comfort. Magnus had known, even so early in their relationship, that it would take him on the journey he had been aimlessly wandering for up until that point.

  


Magnus knew that Alec had a lot of duties and paper-work at the Institute, but that didn't make ignoring him okay. 'Didn't it?' he thought as he wondered about shadowhunter's and their need to follow every rule and dedicate their entire lives, including personal, and themselves to save and protect those who needed to be saved and following stupid rules made hundreds of years ago. Rules that needed a dramatic change. 'But wasn't he also important?' Magnus sighed.

  


Magnus waited for something he knew wouldn't happen. He was curled up on the couch in front of the roaring fire, book in hand and a mug of warm coco on the table. He had heard nothing from Alec, or even Isabelle that day: maybe they were in a meeting or had to patrol, and were too exhausted to reply.

  


_'Oh, who was he kidding. Alec had clearly been ignoring him, he hadn't responded to any of Magnus's messages since a few days ago. So why should he make up excuses for him, when Alec could easily clarify why he had not been there with a simple message or call. Or even a fire message. Maybe he had done something to upset his husband.'_

  


He checked his phone, he told himself it was only to inform himself the time, but he checked to see if he had any missed messages or calls, which was unlikely. It read 12:45 a.m. He sighed. Feeling abandoned for what felt like the fiftieth time that week, he stood up. He snapped his fingers and extinguished the green tinged fire with a puff of blue smoke. He would not wait for Alexander any longer that day. “It’s all about communication,” he quips playfully, fingers tightening around his phone, where he knows his unanswered text is still there to taunt him.

  


Magnus trudged into his bedroom and slipped under the cool crimson silk covers, he lay with his head resting on a large plump cussion, but he felt cold despite the thick comforter, and Magnus knew he would remain frozen without the warmth of another body. Cold without his Alexander lying beside him under the covers.

  


He still couldn't sleep though, despite using his magic to make it warmer for him. He lay tossing and turning for what seemes like hours before exhaustion finally over came him: this had not been the first time he had waited until ungodly hours in the morning for Alec. He could only hope that his darling would come home someday, and hopefully soon, within the next week.

  


..

  


When he awoke to sunlight streaming through the windows, bathing him in a golden glow. However the warmth flooded out of him when he realised that he was once again alone. When he turned, he had thrown out his arm, hoping to feel Alec's warmth. He found only a cold empty bed.

  


He checked his phone and saw he had one new message. Hope flooded through his system at the thought of Alec apologising for not being there, or at least providing a good explanation as to why he was not here. However, when he checked, he realised that Alec didn't truly care about his sleeping arrangements, or abandoning his husband in favour of work. There was a one-word response at around half three that morning. _'No.'_ There wasn't even an apology.

  


_This is what they have become_. The thought is painful, but it also makes it clearer that they are doomed for failure. It is a hard idea to contemplate, the fact that this is a turning point in their relationship, one that will likely lead to its end. Once, Magnus would’ve had no doubt of where they were heading, and if he did, he had found peace in the knowledge that they were heading there together.

  


He isn’t sure about that anymore.

  


It seems like they are both moving forward, but on separate roads, leaving the other behind without even looking back.

  


Magnus had believed so hard that Alec would be his happy ending, his fairy tale story, but the reality is brutal and ruthless, and he can only admit he had fooled himself, his earnest and wishful way of thinking preventing him from keeping his eyes open long enough to see his happy ending slip through his fingers. It makes the fall all the more cruel, all the more agonizing.

  


He is angry. Angry at Alec, angry at himself, angry at the both of them for letting all their efforts, all the overwhelming passion fade away when it had once seemed indestructible. To see it all go to waste now tore at his heartstrings, but he had tried to fight for them, or perhaps he is deluding himself in believing so. Perhaps he stopped fighting at the same time Alec did stopped calling.

  


_What are they doing to themselves?_

  


Magnus decided that he needed a drink. He looked through his wine rack before he chose the half a millon dollar brandy that had beem gifted to him about fifty years back from a close friend. He was planning on saving it for Alec's and his anniversary, but it seemed that Alec would probably miss it for his work at this rate. He laughed aloud, relieved that only the Chairman was there to witness his madness and judge him. 

  


He decided against a glass, and drank straight from the crystal bottle sighing at the strength of the drink, before dropping gracefully down onto the velvet soft couch. He gulped down each swig quickly, not savouring each gulp as he usually would, it was as if the drink could make him forget about Alec, and how upset he was at being abandoned. He snapped his fingers and a spray of blue sparks switched the TV on.

  


Magnus was halfway through the bottle and another episode of project runway when there was a sound of a key grating in a lock, and the front door swung opened. Magnus turned around in his seat from the couch to look over his shoulder, towards the door, and saw the uninvited intruder. Alec. Magnus jumped to his feet and set the crystal bottle down on the coffee table. _"Alec"_ he smiled coldly at the shadowhunter. It seemes the alcohol had decidedly not let him forget being abandoned, again. _"What a surprise!"_ Magnus exclaimed, gesturing widely. Alec, surpisingly, didn't seem to notice his husband's harsh tone.

  


"Hey Magnus, I'm sorry about yesterday, the Institute was so crazy. We had back to back meetings and I couldn't get awa-" Alec glanced around the room, his blue eyes landing on the expensive looking bottle. "Have you been drinking? And why so early in the morning? Did something happen, or..?" he trailed off and frowned, a small look of disappointment flashing briefly across his face. But he moved forward to grab Magnus's hand, almost gentle.

  
“Do you have no fucking shame?” Magnus hissed. He could feel the alcohol surging through his veins. His voice was clipped and teetering on the edge of being ruthless. Alec flinched backwards at the vehemence of his tonr, fingers slipping off Magnus’ skin in the process and lips parting in shock. Magnus regretted the harsh words instantly.

  


"I thought you were _so busy_ at the Insti-" Alec cut off Magnus's reply. "It doesn't matter right now. I have something important to tell you." Magnus felt a small ounce of hope go through him, maybe his husband was going to take some time off. He smiled, ready to forgive Alec about the whole week, if he was willing to make it up to him- Magnus would do anything. "There's a Clave meeting in Idris and a I have to go." Magnus felt his hopes disappear. He scowled at Alec, "you _have_ to go?" he repeated as he slumped back down onto the couch, putting emphasis on the 'have.' "Yes Magnus" Alec said, frowning at Magnus's harsh tone. "It's only for two weeked and-"

  


_"Only two weeks!"_ he half shouted, losing some of his composure. Magnus grabbed the bottle again and took a long sip, "only two weeks" he repeated in a whisper. "Yes darling. I leave tomorrow." Magnus sat up, as he slammed the bottle back down onto the coffee table. " _Tomorrow_. That's way too soon."

  


"I'm sorry. I truly am. I apologise for not telling you sooner, but that is no reason to shout or get angry at me" Alec retorted, before taking a breath and calming down. "Work's been hectic since our marriage, and I'm sorry about that, I really am" he smiled, his lips quirking up on one side in a way that Magnus usually found adorable. But now found annoying rather than endearing.

  


Magnus just scowled at Alec from across the coffee table, he wanted to throw something at Alec, but he was the High Warlock of Brooklyn for a reason, he took a few deep breaths that calmed the anger rushing through his veins. Calming himself would be much better than doing something he would regret, like harming his Alec. Even though they hadn't seen each other in what seemed like years, they were still husbands. And Magnus still loved his dear beloved, even though he would have liked to throw the very expensive bottle of alcohol at his head.

  


Magnus looked up at Alec through dark lashes. Alec opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by an incessant buzzing from his phone. Alec sighed and annoyance showed in his eyes. He pulled out his phone and checked the messages.

  


A line appeared between his eyes as he read the messages, and the expression on his face made Magnus sit up. Concern shot through him. 'Was everything okay? Was Isabelle, Jace or biscuit hurt? Sheldon?' He thought, his mind wondering to the worst possibilities.

  


"What's wrong darling? Is it Isabelle? Jace? Biscuit? Sherwin? Or is that Sheldon?"

  


Alec looked up and smiled sheepishly and part of the concern drained out of Magnus at Alec's ease. Something bad obvioulsy did NOT happen to their family, clear due to Alec's eas. However, he remained listning attentively. "It's just the Institute, I'm needed, It's like they can't survive without me for a few hours" Alec laughed, and was already moving backwards, heading towards the door. He picked up his discarded jacket. "Don't wait up for me Mags, 'kay. I love you" he blew a kiss and turned around. Magnus mutterd _something_ under his breath at Alec's turned back.

  


Alec froze when he heard Magnus mumble something under his breath, just loud enough for it to tease his hearing, but quite enough that Alec's enhanced hearing rune burned slightly on his forearm at the usage so he could hear Magnus clearly. He paused in the threshold of the living room, one foot on the stair that leads down to the front door, taking a second to see if Magnus is going to repeat what he had mumbled - or just anything to reassure him that Alec had misheard. After all, he did just get out of a seven-hour long shift, was it possible he heard incorrectly. His body was tired, feet aching from standing, and he’s sleep deprived, his mind in a foggy haze from being awake for so long.

  


Alec turned slowly, disbelieving the words that he had heard. "What did you say?" he asked Magnus, who was staring right back at him, defiance clear in his expression, his eyebrow raised. Magnus rolled his eyes and snarled at his husband "I'm sure you heard me perfectly well, Alexander _, husband."_ Magnus had put enough empahsis on the _'husband'_ to show he was angry at Alec for something related to their marriage, but not enough to show Alec how upset Magnus truly was.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you Sandylee007 for your continuous support, it means a lot to me ❤

_Alec froze when he heard Magnus mumble something under his breath, just loud enough for it to tease his hearing, but quite enough that Alec's enhanced hearing rune burned slightly on his forearm at the usage so he could hear Magnus clearly. He paused in the threshold of the living room, one foot on the stair that leads down to the front door, taking a second to see if Magnus is going to repeat what he had mumbled - or just anything to reassure him that Alec had misheard. After all, he did just get out of a seven-hour long shift, was it possible he heard incorrectly. His body was tired, feet aching from standing, and he’s sleep deprived, his mind in a foggy haze from being awake for so long_.

_Alec turned around slowly, disbelieving the words that he had just heard come out if Magnus's mouth. "What did you just say?" he asked Magnus, who was staring right back at him, defiance clear in his expression, his perfect eyebrow raised. Magnus rolled his amber slit-pupilled eyes and snarled at his husband "I'm sure you heard me perfectly well, Alexander, husband." Magnus had put enough empahsis on the 'husband' to show he was angry at Alec for something related to their marriage, but not enough to show Alec how upset Magnus truly was._

..

Magnus spoke up again smirking slightly, and repeated what he had mumbled before, this time louder though "I said you should have married your work instead of me," he almost shouted. Now suddenly embarassed, he looked away, flushing red slightly along his sharp, golden cheekbones.

Alec frowned, lines appearing between his brow. He huffed slightly in annoyance and protest, "why would you even say that? I mean ... I know I've been a bit busy, but that ... I thought ... That maybe you would have understood," Alec shot back, flushing a deep scarlet across his high cheekbones.

**_"A bit! Only a bit!"_** Magnus laughed sharply. " _Husband_ , I haven't seen you in ages. And I ... I've missed you ... and it seems like you don't even care about my ... my feelings" Magnus sniffled, hating himself for feeling so weak in front of Alec. He glanced up at Alec through his lashes feeling terrible, as Alec walked towards him. He stopped, and dropped to his knees right in front of the couch Magnus was sat in.

"Oh, by the Angel. I've been terrible, been so...so horrible, haven't I?" he said, looking up at Magnus with remorse filled huge blue eyes. Before Magnus could respond, Alec continued. "I'm sorry. So very sorrry. I really didn't mean to ignore you, it's just , the Institute..." he trailed off, realising there was no excuse. In the several moments of silence, Alec grabbed Magnus's hand, pressing kisses to each knuckle. "I hope you can forgive me. I'll...I'll make it up to you. I'll cancel the trip, they don't need me."

Magnus gasped, "no Alexander, if you have to go. Go then. You said it was important, and I don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

Alec chuckled, "but my husband is more important. Much more important." Alec licked his lips and leaned imperceptibly closer, although he remained firmly put on his feet. He ran a scarred hand through his dark locks, tucking it in at the nape of his neck as he glanced at Magnus shyly, pink-cheeked. 'It seemed as if he were planning something. But what?'

Alec stood suddenly, moving to sit on the couch, straddling Magnus. His knees on either side of the warlock's hips, who gasped in surprise and shock. "And I'm going to make it up to you. I'm going to show you how much my husband means to me" he smirked as he pressed open mouthed kisses against Magnus's neck, only flushing slightly. He leaned forward again and placed a small to kiss to Magnus's lips. "Just let me message Izzy to tell-"

"Already done, darling" Magnus snapped his fingers, "how about we take this to the bedroom," he smirked.

Magnus's eyes automatically drop to Alec’s mouth on their own accord, soft and inviting, and when Magnus looks up again, Alec is looking down at his own lips, something like desire shifting in the dark blue hues of his eyes.

Alec chuckled again, flushing slightly. He pressed a kiss to Magnus's forehead. He moved to stand, but Magnus stopped him. The warlock picked up Alec as he stood, hands cupping the shadowhunter's backside to hold him up. Alec gasped, unconsiously wrapping his long legs aroung Magnus's tight waist. He grabbed at the strong warlock's muscled shoulders. Magnus leaned in and latched his mouth to Alec's pale throat as he stumbled towards the bedroom.

Alec tilted his head back to give his husband more space. He moaned low and filthy in the back of his throat as Magnus bit down, grinding down onto Magnus's hips and hard erection to tease the warlock back. It was Magnus's turn to gasp against Alec's flushed and damp skin as they tumbled onto the bed.

Magnus moved to pull off Alec's shirt, but Alec was quicker. In a flourish of quick movements, Magnus found himself on his back. "Magic. Use your magic" Alec managed, slightly breathless, his pupils wide blown. And who was Magnus to deny his angel anything, even if said angel had basically abandoned him for a week; but he was making it up to him, which was better than nothing.

  
He snapped his fingers, and all their clothes disappeared. "I know you usually top baby" Alec flushed at the words tumbling out of him, "but I want to show you truly how much I loved you, how much you mean to me. How much I regret being a selfish jerk."

Magnus grinned, nodding slightly. _'But he would definately love his angel to show him how much he loved him. But should he forgive him already?'_

Alec sat back on his heels. "I love you Magnus, so, so much. And I know I can only hope to give you fifty or sixty or maybe seventy years, and that's only if I'm extremely lucky. We both know many shadowhunters don't make it to that age" Alec murmered, thinking of his youngest brother, Max. "So, I would love to make this whole week about you, and me. About us darling. But mostly you. I would like to try and make it up to you, even though I don't deserve it. I would never deserve it. but I don't want to fight. Do you?"

  
Magnus shook his head, "no. I don't want to fight with you darking." His cat eyes gleaming amber in the dimness as Alec continued his lovely speech.

"I made a vow, that 'We are bound: stronger than flame, stronger than water, stronger than death itself' and I am going to show you the meaning of those words, show you how much I love being 'bound' to you," he touched the wedding rune over his heart, Magnus leaned up and kissed the rune, whilst his hand brushed the rune at his bicep. Alec shivered at the intimate touches exchanged between the couple. "How much I love being your husband," as Alec repeated the words of the shadowhunter marriage vows, Magnus's mind flashed to their wedding on the beach.

"We never did have a honey-moon, did we?" Magnus asked, smirking up at Alec slightly. Alec's gaze was loving and warm as he looked back down at Magnus. His blue eyes lighting up with passion and tender care that Magnus had missed. "No," Alec murmered. "We had way too much work darling. Everything was so hectic. And I am so sorry for being such a...such an idiot." Magnus smiled up at his husband, eyes unglamoured to their normal amber slit-pupilled eyes he knew Alec loved. "I love you too, and I forgive you."

Alec was there now, and that was all that mattered to Magnus. He was there in the room and in his heart, where he belonged. Where he would always belong. For as long as Magnus lived, Ader Gideon Lightwood would forever own a part of him he could not give back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Alec deserve forgiveness?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Alec deserve Magnus's forgiveness?
> 
> Some further updates to the chapter and the oother chapters

Magnus woke up with the slow golden light of miday filtering into the room through the half closed heavy velvet curtains, and to a cold and empty bed. Again. Alec was not there, as he hadn't been there for many days and nights in the past week. 

  
Magnus propped himself up onto his elbows, the crimson sheets twisted around his narrow waist. He glanced down at himself. He was wearing only boxers. _'Had this whole thing been a dream. Had he only imagined Alec coming home and apologising with such sincerity that made his heart ache.'_

Magnus dropped back onto his back, and rolled over so that he lay across the bed sideways. Tears pressed behind his un-glamoured eyes, blurring his vision. Alexander, his husband, was not there. Had maybe never even been there that night, or any night, and day, for the past week. Magnus sat up and moved so his legs dangled off the side of the bed, he winced. He was feeling slightly sore down there. His gold-green slit-pupilled eyes gazed over hus bedroom: there were items of clothing strewn across the floor.

_'What had happened in his bedroom? Whose clothes were these?'_ Panic slipped its hood over Magnus's mind as he started worrying and fretting over what had possibly happened. 'Did he cheat on Alexander, his kind husband who he did love."

A noise cut through his thoughts; there was a loud clatter from the kitchen. Magnus stood and headed to the door carefully, trying not to make a sound, which he succeeded in. He slipped on a gold-patterned silk robe. He quietly opened the door and listned. There were even more louder noises coming from the kitchen. Tyimg the robe around his waist, he breathed in deeply before mobing toward the kirchen, slow and silent like a cat.

Magnus froze at the kitchen door. The person he saw was unexpected, but certainly not unwelcome.

Alexander, his Alec, his husband was here in the apartment, in their home. He stood at the kitchen counter stirring something in a glass bowl. Magnus noted that he only wore a too-big faded shirt and boxers. Then he saw the many bruises on his neck. Magnus was dumb founded, what had happened?

Then he remebered. Their fight, Alec trying to make it up to him. His own confusion when his husband had turned up out of the blue. His husband, who had then proceeded to cancell a two week trip to Idris in favour of staying with Magnus at the loft. At home, with him. Magnus smiled softly. That his angel had definately tried to make it up to him in a lovely way.

  
Magnus flushed slightly as he walked forward until he was standing right behind Alec. He wrapped his arm around the shadowhunter's slim waist, propped his chin against Alec's shoulder and asked, "what are you making darling? Are you cooking or baking it for me?" he grinned slightly at the teasing.

Alec gasped and dropped the spoon he was using to stir the mysterious, lightly golden mixture. "Magnus!" he exclaimed. "I didn't realise you were awake. I wanted you to have breakfast in bed," he murmured, leaning back into Magnus's embrace. "But I guess that won't happen now," he sighed, clearly dejected.

  
Magnus chuckled, "I can get back into bed..." He trailed off, shooting Alec a sly grin.

  
Alec nodded and smiled, "you'd do that, for me?" He blushed slightly at the grin, clearly wondering what Magnus was smiling about.

Magnus chuckled slightly. "I would do anything for you, my shadowhunter, my angel. I love you," he whispered hotly into his ear. Magnus could easily imagine Alec's adorable blush spread across his high cheekbones. He pressed a trail of butterfly kisses along his pale and bruised throat. Alec mumbled something unintelligable, then pulled away, ducking his head inhaling sharlpy. An adorable flush had spread down his neck and to the tips of his ears."The food Magnus. I am going to ruin the food if you continue teasing me cruelly like that."

Magnus only chuckled softly in response, but pulllef away from Alec's delectable neck. But not before pressing a last kiss to the juncture of his shoulder and neck, right near his pulse point. Alec held back a groan. "You're such a tease, Magnus, and I implore that you stop. Otherwise I will carry you back to bed and ravish you. And then you will not be able to eat my delicious pancakes as I will be way too tired to continue making them."

Magnus chuckled, the vibrations reverburating inside his chest enough for Alec to feel them. "If you want me to stop, you better find a better way to make me. What you just said, about wanting to ravish me in bed, is actually quiet a nice thought," he nosed against the sensative skin of Alec's neck.

  
Alec's breath hitched and he raised a hand to his face "Stop teasing me," he said through his hand. But Alec couldn't help himself, he pushed back into Magnus's hungry and exploring touch. He groaned slightly at the teasing, wishing Magnus would either stop or hurry up.


	4. Chapter 4

_Magnus chuckled, the vibrations reverburating inside his chest enough for Alec to feel them. "If you want me to stop, you better find a better way to make me. What you just said, about wanting to ravish me in bed, is actually quiet a nice thought," he nosed against the sensative skin of Alec's neck._

  
_Alec's breath hitched and he raised a hand to his face "Stop teasing me," he said through his hand. But Alec couldn't help himself, he pushed back into Magnus's hungry and exploring touch. He groaned slightly at the teasing, wishing Magnus would either stop or hurry up._

..

Alec turned in Magnus's grip so that they were now facing each other, and he smiled up at him, his blue eyes wide and bright. "Go away, you tease" he said and pushed gently, trying to stop a giggle from escaping his mouth by clamping his mouth shut.

  
"But I'd rather stay and help you make breakfast," Magnus whined and ran his fingers over Alec's side in an attempt to hear Alec's laugh's he loved so much.

  
Alec snorted, his features smoothed into a lovely, easy smile. "You don't have to stay, you can go relax or whatever. I won't burn down the kitchen, or ruin anyth-" Magnus cut him off with a chaste kiss.

  
He mumbled against Alec's plump lips. "I know, but I want to stay. Spend some time with you." Alec's eyes widened, "really? Afer how selfish I've been. I mean, you have every right to be mad and angry at me, I was a complete idiot and a failu-"

  
"I know Alexander. And I am angry. But you're here, and that's all that matters." He cut the shadowhunters last woord off, not wanting him to say that word that was not true. Alec leaned up again and kissed Magnus. He smiled slightly against his lips.

The kiss caught fire, and Magnus bit down on Alec's lower lip. He caught Alec's tiny needy gasp with his own mouth. He pushed Alec agains the counter, pressing his knee between Alec's parted legs. Alec moaned as he unconsiously ground down on Magnus's leg, seeking friction.

As quickly as the kissing had started, it ended. Alec yanked himself back from the edge before he could tumble off of it, he broke the kiss. Magnus frowned. "Food...Breakfast" Alec panted hard, seemingly unable to form a whole sentence.

Magnus smirked, "I'd rather have you for breakfast," he whispered hotly into Alec's ear and nibbled at the lobe.

  
Alec blushed furiously and managed to stutter out a simple response as he tried to ignore the biting. "B-but I wanted t-to make it f-for you."

Magnus chuckled, a loving smile twitching the corner of his lips upwards. He backed away slightly. Alec sighed, and adjusted the shirt to cover himself. Though he was achingly hard, he would make Magnus the pancakes he had been attempting to bake for the last hour and a half.

  
But this time, he knew the batch would definately be perfect.

In the end, that batch wasn't. But afer two more failed attempts, he was finally succesful, or lucky. Two stacks of pancakes, a jumble mix of different berries, and a drizzle of syrup later, two plates of ' _perfection_ ' were delivered to the table.

Magnus had used the time to pick up the clothes strewn across the floor, clean himslef off, but not before taking care of his straining erection. He than cleaned the bed, and changed the sheets - with magic. When he had finished those tasks, it seemed that he didn't need to search for any more things to do, Alec had (finally) made the pancakes, and they looked and smelled delicious.

Magnus smiled at Alec brightly, only now wondering how long it took for Alexander to make the pancakes successfully. Alec shoots him a smile back:the lopsided grin curved on a corner of his full lips, lighting up his blue eyes with something relaxed and laid-back that contrasted greatly with everything Magnus has been allowed to witness in the day Alec came back.

  
 _'Probably a long time,'_ Magnus thought. The bed had been cold on the side Alec slept on when he had brushed his fingertips over the covers.

_'Oh, how he loved his Alexander, however he was very consiencess, thinking that everyone around him was much more important then him, and that he was already failing everyone. That he'd do anything, give up everything to please others. He was now proud that Alexander had finally taken some time out for himself, and them.'_

Though the two weeks would never be enough for Magnus, but he would definately make each second count. And he would hopefully make his husband realise that it is okay to take a break, no one was perfect.

  
Then he would correct Alec's behaviour; that it was **NOT** okay to ignore your husband for a week, no matter the reason. The excuse would never be good enough. Magnus, in these two weeks, would forgive Alec, _'but he just didn't know when.'_

He secretly hoped that no one would interrupt them. They didn't need to be cockblocked, again. After multiple times, and from multiple people, Magnus hoped that maybe now everyone got the message: to call ahead, and maybe **_KNOCK_ **on the door before bursting in. Though he wasn't too hopeful about that.

However, in that moment, Magnus wanted to freeze everything, so far his morning had been perfect - excluding the waking up part though. That had actually rattled Magnus slightly, though he would never admit that. Nor would he be doubting his husband anytime soon again.

Magnus pulled himself back from his thoughts, and back to the moment. He wanted to remember everything, and he wanted to have a good time. To finally relax and spend some time with his previously missing husband.

They ate their pancakes in silence, broken by Magnus murmering his appreciation of the food, and Alec replying with a furious blush and multiple, _'It was nothing'_ and _'you could have done better with your eyes closed.'_ Magnus huffed silently at that. He would make Alec learn how to take a desrved compliment. How to fully relax.

Magnus was surprised to find himself angry that morning, though not at Alenader. He could never be angry at his love permanently - excluding the past week, but Alec had started to make it up to him already, and Magnus knew he would forgive him eventually.

  
Instead the unexpected hatred was directed at both himself, and the Lightwood parents: Robert and Maryse. 

  
By Alec's actions, his obvious thoughts and feelings, what he sayas, Magnus could tell that the parents had clearly not shown Alec enough love, care and attention, that it was obvious they favoured Jace and Izzy over him, as he often found Alec doing the same and ignoring himself.

  
He was now glad that a week of being ignored had given him and Alec time to make it up to each other, and for Magnus to adress Alec's lack of self care. His self destructive behaviour and methods that he, and even his siblings, now considered normal. Magnus would try to correct that.

Magnus looked up from his pancakes to find Alec frowning at him. Alec blushed when Magnus stared back at him. "Is something wrong, Alexander?"

  
Alec hesitated, blushing again across his cheeks and down his neck. "Do you not like the food?"

  
It was Magnus's turn to frown, "why would you say that? Of course I love your pancakes and just food in general."

  
Alec flushed slightly and looked down. He than muttered something. "It's just that you were glaring at the plate, and I thought...I maybe wondered if you didn't like them," he twisted his hands together, than said in a rush, "I mean...I'm not angry...I wouldn't blame you...I know I'm a bad cook, it's just...you don' have to pretend to like them. It's okay if you hate them," his voice rising and falling several octaves as he dug his fingernails into his palms.

Magnus smiled sadly, here was evidence of Alec thinking he was not good enough. "I's not the pancakes I was angry at. Your cooking is great, not terrible." He took Alec's hand in his own, massaging the places where he had managed to break the skin with his nails. "I love you, Alec. And I love your cooking, your much better than Izzy and blondie's terrible attempts. I'm just annoyed at...at your parents. Of how they treat you like your nothing, when you're not. You're my everything," Magnus finally managed in rush of words, feelings and emotions.

Alec sat back in his chair, and absorbed that information in silence, his hand relaxing in Magnus's grip. After several moments of thinking, he mumbled "you're my everything too. But my parent are hard on me because they didn't want me to follow in their footsteps with the Circle and Valentine. In their mistakes and shortcomings. But they love me, they just want what's best for me."

  
Magnus frowned slightly, _'why was Alec defending them for their wrong doing? If it was Jace or Izzy his parents had ignored, Alec would have been furious.'_ "You shouldn't create excuses for them, you should try-"

  
Alec cut him off harshly before he could finish. "You don't need to treat me like a child!" he exclaimed, yanking his hand away from Magnus. "Excuse me, I've just lost my appetite," he said harshly before standing.

Alec moved to get out of the room, his heart rummaging in his chest and his veins boiled with slowly rising anger, and he pushed past Magnus with probably more force than strictly necessary.

Gentle, slender fingers brush against Alec's hand, and wrap around his wrist, just tightly enough to pull him to a halt him before he can reach the door but not quite enough that he wouldn’t easily be able to break away from Magnus's resilient grip.

Alec muttered something under his breath, but it was still audible to Magnus. "I'm glad I didn't come here for the past week, especially if you're gonna treat me like that." He wrenched his hand out of Magnus's grip, as if his touch burned and sullied him. He marched forward, heading to their shared bedroom, and away from Magnus.

Before the bedroom door closed, he shot Magnus a characteristic scowl that was ususally on his featres - but only when he looked at people who had annoyed him. Magnus had never gotten _that_ look. Then the door slammed shut, cutting off Magnus's view of his husband.

Magnus sat in his chair in stunned silence. _'Now what?'_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its pretty shirt and terrible. It is only half of what I planned to write but I really wanted to update this fic soon. So sorry  
> Updates will be coming soon though
> 
> Updates to the end of the chapter

Alexander Gideon Lightwood had fucked up.

Alec, had well and truly fucked up.

He had made a mess of his whole fucking life in the process of ruining his marriage with the man he loved. He deserved nothing but hatred from Magnus but knew his husband was too kind for that.

He felt terrible. The rush of stupid, horrible words that had spewed almost uncontrolably from his mouth earlier were all false and untrue. He had lied, something he didn't usually do.

In fact, Alec actually regretted not being there to hold Magnus at night as they fell asleep, or in the morning when they woke up and he got to see his husband's beautiful face without his makeup, or even to just be able to talk about work, or anything. He regretted not calling, dropping by, or even texting, but it was too late to change any of that.

Instead, Alec sat at the end of _their_ bed, head supported in his hands as he tried to stifle his sobs somewhat unsuccesfully. ' _He shouldn't even be crying, he had no reason to cry. He had hurt his husband, the love of his life with his cruel and untrue words. It was unforgivable, he deserved to be punished, like a child, which was exactly how he had acted. Or punished with much more severity.'_ Alec pressed his palms to his eyes and pushed back the burning tears, wills them to go away with every ounce of strength he has left so that Magnus won’t hear him broken and in pieces. He moves his hands down to rest on his knees and grips onto them hard as he breathes in a shuddering breath through a throat that feels constricted and useless.

Alec took a few shaky breaths, hiccuping slightly as he tried to calm himself down, yet he was failing miserably. ' _That was all he was. A failure, a mistake, and a complete idiot.'_ He stood and silently walked into their ensuite bathroom. Without even looking at his reflection _he physically could not look at himself, he was disgusted that much._

Alec splashed some cold water onto his face, attempting to hide the fact that he had been crying, he secretly hoped that the cool water would reduce the red splotchiness on his face and the swelling at his eyes.

Alec left the bathroom and moved to stand in front of their bedroom door, hand poised to turn the handle and go back into the kitchen. The back of his neck felt overly warm as a small patch of sun filtered through the windows and cast him in its glow. He exhaled calmly before pushing open the door slowly, wanting Magnus to know he was entering the kitchen, if he was still in there and have enough time to prepare himself.

..

Magnus had not moved from his seat, their plates of pancakes and fruit, mugs of still steaming coffee sat in front of him mostly untouched and uneaten. The words Alec had muttered just before he had stormed off were playing in his head, the venem and undisguised hatred in each word, each letter made Magnus's heart ache.

Thought's racing now of more then just the acidic words from his husband whirled in his mind. He snapped his long fingers and a space in front of him cleared. The table had been magically cleared of the jumble of plated and food: the pancakes and fruit put into the fridge, cutlery plates and mugs cleaned and put back into the drawers and cabinets. _'It was very efficent, being a warlock. He did not want to stay a moment longer than necessary.'_

Magnus snapped his fingers again, and in a crakle of blue magic, a pen and piece of papaer appeared in the space in front of him. He picked up the fountain pen, and uncapped it. 

Magnus tapped the end of the gold plated fountain pen against his chin thoughtfully, before lowering it back down to the table. Magnus put fountain pen to parchment and began to write in his cursive scrawl that _Alec had considered to be the thing that gave the fact that he was a warlock away._ Magnus shook his head to clear his mind of any thoughts of Alec. He needed to focus. 

* * *

_Alec,_

_I just need a break. Not a permanent one darling, I just need some space away from, us. I think we both need some space and time to just think. So you can have the apartment as I can portal anywhere I need or want to go. So I guess it's easier for me to go, and you to stay here._

_This does not mean I don't love you, I do. I adore you. It's just, what you said. I mean we have been fighting, and I haven't seen you in ages. It feels like I don't know you. I just don't want to fight anymore. So this is goodbye for however long we need time apart for._

_However, you can always message or call me if you are feeling low, or you can talk to your siblings, it's your choice. But talk to someone if you need it. Please._

_I love you. So much Alexander._

_Magnus_

* * *

Magnus signed the parchment with with a flourish, before dropping the pen onto the table. It did not land with a clatter as it was instead transported back to his desk in his apothecary/potions room - slash - office. He folded the paper in half and placed it neatly back onto the table.

Magnus leaned back and sighed. He scrubbed at his face and dark hair with long hands, and stood, pushing the chair back from the table. It made a loud sraping noise as it was dragged across the wooden floorboards. 

Magnus stumbled away from the table, away from the good memories of their breakfast earlier that morning. The memories that had been ruined by Alec's unexpected outburst of hatred and anger. He hadn’t realized before tonight - or perhaps he had but was unwilling to admit it to himself - everything that is broken between them. Once, they would have fought to fix it. Today, it seems like the right and sole answer is to take a break, and not throw it all away, well not yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Temporarily discontinued until I have finished my other fic, The Visitor  
> Sorry about that. But when I next update, I'll hopefully make it good. Not al all shit like my other fics


	6. Authors note

Hey guys  
I know I've left this fic temporarily, but good news  
Because I got so good on a test, my motivation levels increased. So you'll be glad to hear that I'll be continuing ❤❤


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of this is just Magnus looking amazing  
> Sorry if it doesn't make any sense

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok. Wow! I'm back!  
> It feels good to return to this fic.  
> I have recieved so many kudos and kind comments so far. So I've finally decided to continue.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it

_Magnus stumbled away from the table, away from the good memories of their breakfast earlier that morning. The memories that had been ruined by Alec's unexpected outburst of hatred and anger. He hadn’t realized before tonight - or perhaps he had but was unwilling to admit it to himself - everything that is broken between them. Once, they would have fought to fix it. Today, it seemed like the right and sole answer is to take a break, and not throw it all away, well not yet._

Magnus knew distantly that his husband must not have meant what he said. Or not fully meant it. But all he could see was the acid in those blue eyes that just moments before were fullnof tender and loving passion.

He felt tears threaten to spill, but stubbornly blinked them back: he needed to focus.

Magnus flicked his wrist and a portal appeared like a doorway in front of him, blue and swirling. He took a deep, calming and much needed breath. But halted before he had taken his first step towards the unknown. 

He looked down at his drab outfit, and sighed. He wasn't exactly _appropiately dressed._ He snapped his fingets and was changed from pyjamas into something much more **him.** His clothes transformed from boxers and one of Alec's sweaters, into fitted leather pants, too tight for boxers, so they had to go. 

The dark material of the sweater morphed into a crimson silk shirt unbuttoned more than necessary - almost to the place his naval should be - but he wanted to look fabulous even though he still felt terrible. Jewled rings adorned his long fingers, and his nails werw painted a matt black color. He feltntje familiar heaviness and coolness at his neck and chest that indicated a few necklaces had appeared.

Magnus felt his limp slept on hair spike up and knew he was ready. He could at least pretend he didn't feel like shit. 

Then finally he stepped through the portal.

..

When the portal had vanished after Magnus, and the curtains had stopped billowing, Alec finally gathered enough courage to open the bedroom door. However, the sight that greeted him made him regret everything he had done those past few days. He had acted like such a bitch./p>

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise about the length.  
> Sorry for any mistakes  
> All feedback and comments welcome  
> Kudos are as well

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes.  
> Hope you liked it. ❤  
> Kudos and comments are very welcome.  
> As are suggestions 😉


End file.
